[music playing]
[chatter, phone ringing]
[chatter]
Thank you, guys.
You don't know what you saved me.
Nobody fucking move!
On the floor!
[screaming]
[inaudible] Everyone on the fucking floor.
Get on the ground, you fucking wanker.
[panic]
Christ.
Let's go. Let's go!
Come on, love.
Don't be shy.
Get the fuck out of the chair.
Come on.
What the fuck are you doing?
If you don't move, I'm gonna fuck you in the ass right here.
Go. Go.
Go!
[panting]
Get on the floor.
Get on the fucking floor!
Go.
[buzzing]
Don't anybody move or breathe unless I tell you to.
Told you to stay down.
[beeping]
Came from way downtown.
[beeping] Bang.
[lock clicks]
What are you--
No, you fucking don't.
I told you to stay down.
I'm in.
Pete, you all right?
PETE: Nice and tight, Sol.
You got him, Pete.
Let's get it on, baby.
You want to go for a ride?
[grunts]
[glass shatters]
Have a nice trip.
Well enjoy!
[laughs]
[panting]
Freeze!
[gunshots]
Ah!
[machine gun bullets firing]
[gunshots]
POLICEMAN: Police.
Everybody stay down.
Ah, you've been hit.
[gunshots, glass shattering]
Ah!
[gunshots, glass shattering]
POLICEMAN: Man down!
Man down!
[gunshots]
[gunshots, grunting]
Let's go.
[airport announcement]
Thank you.
AIRPORT ANNOUNCEMENT: Flight 181 is now departing from Gate 8.
Flight 181 is now departing.
Ugh.
[giggles]
[plane taking off]
[chatter]
Your drink.
Oh, muchas gracias.
De nada.
Hey, it's me.
MIA (ON PHONE): Hi, how is it?
Oh, it's amazing.
Wait till you see this place.
How's, uh, how's Anaheim?
MIA (ON PHONE): Ugh, whatever.
[laughs].
Hey, I got your present.
It's great, except I have to hit it a million
times before it lights.
Well, it's an antique.
Um, so did you like the engraving?
[giggles] Kind of sappy.
Yeah, but deep down inside, you
know you like the sappiness.
Among other things.
So what, uh, what flight are you working?
Ugh, 211.
Oh, party plane to the Mexican coast, huh?
Don't even go there.
Look, I'm really looking forward to this weekend.
I hope we can-- we can work everything out.
[sighs] I hope so.
I love you.
Put the champagne on ice, and I'll see
you in a couple of hours, OK?
Bye.
[beep]
[sighs]
It looks like it's going to rain.
I hate rain.
Come on.
Let's go.
Oh, god.
[laughs] Are you OK?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think I'll be OK.
Hang on just a second.
The stewardess who's afraid to fly.
Hey.
Can I help you?
There should four electronic tickets under Dirty Shames.
OK.
You're going to have to check all those bags.
Those are too big for carry-on.
That'll be wonderful.
Thanks.
Mhm.
You care for my bag, right?
I got it.
[airport announcement]
[plane taking off]
Gentlemen, I have your refreshments.
Ah, thank you. Thank you.
Ah, thank you.
Um, [clears throat] no weather delays today.
Got it?
[laughs] Oh, tell me, Zach is meeting you for the weekend.
Yep.
Oh, cool.
Cool.
I like Zach.
Mm.
Yeah.
Well, we're going to give it another shot.
Well, good.
Now, when you get down there, do something new.
Maybe go scuba diving--
beautiful reefs.
The wife and I do it all the time.
Some excitement into the relationship.
[giggles]
PASSENGER: Whoohoo!
Acapulco, here we come.
Showtime.
PASSENGER: We are gonna have the best time ever.
[chatter]
Hi.
Can I get you something to drink?
Water, please.
Can I get you something to drink?
- Can we get margaritas? - Of course.
I'll make you one especially.
Hey, Singapore Slings, can you make those?
Singapore Sling was invented in 1915,
Raffles Hotel in Singapore.
I'm the champion. - Hahaha.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
That's all I need to say. Thank you very much.
PASSENGER: You the man.
Give me some love, baby.
Give me some love.
Another other 50 points.
PASSENGER: Way to go, Brian. Whoohoo.
Dare I ask?
Yeah.
I won the Fun Sun Trivia Bowl, so we're all going to Acapulco,
and everything's paid for.
Styling.
Wow.
[giggles]
Brian Bigham, I am the champion.
Anyone ask me anything.
[chatter]
Anyone.
OK.
OK, OK, OK, let's see.
What's the average altitude of most commercial flights?
Ooh.
Average altitude of most commercial flights--
35,000 feet.
I am the champion. Yes!
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Whoohoohoo!
Why do I get the feeling this is going
to be one of those flights?
PASSENGER: This is gonna be the best time.
- How's the book? - Good.
PASSENGER: Tequila shots.
PASSENGER: Whoo!
So what do you do?
I'm a nurse.
Really?
That's a very philanthropic profession.
I know a little bit about medical, because I'm a lawyer.
I used to do malpractice, malfeasance.
Justin Reynolds.
PASSENGER: I have a kick-ass hotel.
JUSTIN: Uh, hey you.
Something to drink, sir?
JUSTIN: I'd like a martini, please,
made with your top-shelf vodka, very dry.
Just wave the vermouth bottle over it.
And another one for the young lady over here.
No thank you.
No, it's not a problem.
It's their job.
She'll have the same.
Excuse me.
Can I have a Diet Coke, please?
Absolutely.
Here you go, sir.
Here you go.
Is that all right?
Yeah, this'll do just fine.
Hey, uh, I take it you took the short bus
to school, my friend.
[laughs] You fucking wanker.
MAX: Pete.
Pete.
[panting] [laughs]
Can I get you anything, sir, something to--
Oh, I'm absolutely fine.
Thanks.
OK, how about you, sir?
You got a shot of wheatgrass?
Um, no.
We don't-- we don't have anything
like that on the plane. - That's OK.
Hey.
Something to drink, sir?
Yeah.
You got any bourbon?
MIA: Sure.
[ice clinking]
[thunder]
[chatter]
[alarm beeping]
It's all right, everyone.
This is absolutely normal.
Everything's fine.
No problem.
You.
Yeah?
Smoking in the bathroom?
What?
You were smoking in the bathroom.
Yeah.
I always light to have a cigarette after I come,
you know?
[sighs] Well, then I guess you're aware
that it's a federal offense with a $3,000 fine.
Really?
And that you put every single one of these passengers
in jeopardy.
I'm sorry.
You know, it's my job to report you to the authorities
when we land, and I'm going to. SOL: Don't.
What?
Ugh.
You're making me think about doing some things.
Get off me!
Huh?
Don't look at her.
Hey!
Jerk.
I can't believe your ass.
Good help really is hard to find, Max.
[panting, rattling]
Julie!
Listen, I need you conscious for this.
[thunder]
[breathing heavily]
[thunder]
GROUND CONTROL (ON RADIO): Flight 211,
please be informed that the storm
has entered your flight path. We recommend that--
Uh, we're going to be going through that, ground control.
Over.
GROUND CONTROL (ON RADIO): Negative on that.
Storm has been upgraded to severe, so you must turn back.
Roger that, ground control.
Over.
It's that bad, Jerry?
We have to turn around?
Afraid so.
Sorry about that.
Well, you heard him, Sully.
Let's turn her around.
SULLY: You got it.
Ugh.
JERRY: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
As you know, we've been flying through a storm,
and as you can see, it's been getting worse.
So we are returning to Anaheim.
[groans]
Now, we realize this disrupts your plans,
so of course, we will be--
Ma'am put your seat belt on, please.
Everything is fine, folks.
Sir, you need to sit down. PASSENGER: OK.
OK.
Put your seat down, and put your seat belt on.
OK? Everything's fine.
Put your seat belt--
PASSENGER: Just put it on.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry that you've
heard your captain correctly, and we are turning around.
PASSENGER: Jesus.
Come on.
Please return to your seats, and fasten your seat belts.
And raise your seat to the full and upright position.
Once again, I'm very sorry.
Air Acapulco apologizes for the inconvenience.
We will try to get you on the next available flight.
Get the fuck out the way, bitch.
Move it.
[screams] - Shut up.
Keep on your flight path, motherfucker.
[screams]
Hey, give me that.
Back to your seat.
SOL: Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen, nobody better fucking move.
Keep your hands in front and your mouth fucking shut.
All you've got to do is fly, all right?
We've come way too far to let this storm--
Squid.
GROUND CONTROL (ON RADIO): Flight 211,
my radar shows that you are still on your original course.
Turn around complete, ground control.
GROUND CONTROL (ON RADIO): Negative, flight--
Look, it's too dangerous.
Look at these readings.
We're gonna lose altitude any second now.
[gun clicks]
There's only one reading you need to concern yourself with,
motherfucker.
All right, everybody, I think we know how this goes.
You stay nice and calm, and you'll have a great story
to tell the kiddies.
However, my friend Sol over here would
like nothing other than to blow one of your motherfucking
heads off. OK?
Got it?
Blondie?
Blondie, come here. Come here.
Don't make me fucking come and get you.
Come on. Let's you.
Let's fucking go right now.
Move your sweet ass.
Don't make me tell you twice.
You too.
Inside.
Got it?
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for flying Air Acapulco.
[thunder]
Eenie, meenie, miney, mo.
[laughs]
[gunshot]
[thunder]
(CRYING) I don't want to die.
I don't want to die.
Julie, Julie, Julie, listen to me.
Shh. Look at me.
Take a deep breath.
We're gonna be OK.
We're gonna be able to make it.
Stop your fucking crying, your pussy crying.
You're OK.
It's OK.
Come here. PASSENGER: Please.
Come on.
All right, ladies, you were told to shut the fuck up,
right?
No!
Hey.
Please, God.
Shut your fucking ass.
Sean, be cool. SOL: Get back.
I didn't do anything. I didn't--
Shut your fucking ass.
BRIAN: It's OK. I'll keep him quiet, man.
I'll keep him quiet.
- [crying] - Shut your fucking ass.
I don't want to die.
SOL: You are going to fucking die if you
don't fucking [inaudible]. - Sean, be quiet, bro.
Shut the fuck up.
Say one more thing.
I'm gonna die.
SOL: Say one more thing. - Calm down.
[crying]
Solly, shut him up.
Say one more thing.
Sean, shut up, dude.
No.
Go on. Do it.
Say one more thing.
I don't want to die. BRIAN: No.
Please.
[gunshot]
[screams]
Sol, what the fuck is going on in there?
SOL: Nothing.
What are you doing?
Sit your fucking ass down.
- Hey. - Sully.
No, don't do it. No.
Let go of this!
Let go.
[gunshot]
Ugh!
[plane careening]
Sully!
[alarm blaring]
Oh, shit.
Get this shit under control, motherfucker.
You blew a hole in my control panel.
[plane careening]
[banging]
Sol?
JULIE: Oh my god.
They killed a pilot.
They shot the pilot.
We don't know that.
JERRY: Come on, baby.
Come on. Stay with me.
[alarm blaring]
Do something, motherfucker.
JERRY: I'm trying.
What do you expect me to do?
Shit.
[rattling, alarm blaring]
JERRY: Fuck.
Mother--
[plane careening]
[alarm blaring]
What should I, man?
SOL: I don't know.
Check on those people back there, man.
[alarm blaring]
Fucking Christ.
I've got to sit down.
Oh boy.
(CRYING) Oh my god.
Oh my god. Why?
Shut up.
[rattling]
[screaming]
All right, man.
We'll be OK.
Look at me!
We're gonna be OK, man!
We're gonna make it.
We're fine, man.
We're fine.
We'll be all right, man.
You've got to promise.
I promise.
[alarm blaring]
[panicked breathing]
JERRY: Hold on. Hold on.
[inaudible]
Turn around!
[alarm blaring]
[plane careening]
[screaming]
[whimpering]
[screaming]
[thuds, groans]
[explosion]
[rain, thunder]
Julie?
JULIE: [gasping]
Are you OK?
You're OK.
Oh, we're all right.
We're all right.
We have to get-- we have to get out.
We have to get everybody out of here.
Come on.
[grunting]
Petey!
Ugh.
[breathing heavily] Oh.
Oh my god.
SOL: Petey!
We've got to get these people out.
Here.
JUSTIN: [coughing] Oh god, I'm dead.
I'm dead.
No, you're OK.
You're not dead.
[coughs]
You're OK.
Help.
[splash]
[coughing, moaning]
Let me help you. You're moving your hands.
You're OK. OK?
MIA: I'm gonna get you out of here.
I need your help. Sir, I need your help.
PASSENGER: OK.
OK.
Squid, come on.
[splash]
[groaning] MIA: Watch her head.
Watch her head.
Turn her around.
Yeah.
[panting] It hurts so bad.
It hurts
SOL: Petey!
JUSTIN: Come on.
Over here.
Over there.
Put her down.
JULIE: Watch your step.
OK.
[moaning, crying]
JULIE: Careful.
God, she's hurt really badly.
PASSENGER: [crying]
I'm cold.
Petey!
- I'm alive.
Whoo!
What a ride, man!
PASSENGER: [moaning]
Hey, how's she doing?
We need a medevac Julie, go over and get him.
He's in shock.
Get him over here and keep him warm.
Oh, we're fucked.
No, man, we're not fucked.
Stay with me, OK?
Damages and liability, we are talking about a large cash
settlement here, man.
Shut the fuck up, and pay attention, all of you.
[gunshot]
Hey!
Here's the deal-- your lives for your labor.
We're headed towards with the village of Santo Cristo.
We've got only two days to get there.
Now, how far are we from Acapulco?
I don't know.
Ugh.
Man, I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna-- - Hey!
Easy. Easy.
I don't know.
Maybe about 50 miles northeast of here.
Sol, Squid, take them down to the luggage compartment
and get our motherfucking stuff.
Right.
And you, get whatever food you can salvage.
Yo, Max, man, I can't find Pete, man.
I promised him that--
Yo, man, your boyfriend is dead, OK?
[inaudible]
SOL: Take your hands off me. Now, come on.
MAX: Go get our stuff.
[groaning]
What the fuck is this, "The Three Stooges"?
Now, go get my motherfucking stuff.
You're gonna be all right.
Was I not clear?
This woman needs medical attention!
Oh, I'm sorry!
PASSENGER: Please. [gunshot]
[screams]
I thought I was clear.
Now, get my motherfucking stuff.
Come on. Let's go.
Come on.
Let's go!
Don't worry about your friend.
She'll be fine.
[sighs]
SOL: Guitar case and the drum case.
Don't bother with anything else.
MIA: Jerry?
JERRY: Mia, in here.
[groans]
MIA: What are you doing?
SOL: Where the fuck are you?
We're grasping here.
Flight recorder.
It emits a tracking signal.
They'll be able to find us wherever we go.
SOL: Where the fuck are you?
Get your asses out of there.
[mariachi music]
MAN: I'm gonna get you, [inaudible]..
[chatter]
No, no, no, no, no, you don't understand.
I was just at the airport.
No.
And they said it was canceled.
[cash register ding]
I'm calling you because you're the goddamn airline.
Hello?
God damn it.
Does anything work around here?
I sure do, sweetie.
No.
No, no, no, no, no, gracias. - Come sit by me, handsome.
No. No.
No, gracias. - Oh.
[inaudible]
NEWS (ON TV): Flight 211 disappeared
in today's surprise storm.
Authorities lost all contact of the aircraft
some two hours into its flight.
Although scoring 100% on--
Oh my god.
NEWS (ON TV): --its recent maintenance checkup--
Oh my god.
NEWS (ON TV): --authorities are not ruling out the possibility
of mechanical failure.
My girlfriend.
My girlfriend was on that flight.
Relax, senor.
Relax.
They said they've only just started searching.
Don't worry.
They will find her.
It crashed.
And you, you're just sitting there.
What's wrong with you?
Get off your ass and do something.
I will appreciate you lowering your voice.
You lost a fucking plane, and you want me to lower my voice?
I need the embassy.
Where's the American embassy?
Senor, control yourself.
We are doing everything we can.
You don't fucking get it, do you?
My girlfriend is on that plane, and it crashed.
Gentlemen.
[glass shatters]
The American embassy is 500 miles away, compadre.
See ya later, Rosa.
[giggling]
How do I get to the American embassy?
You don't want the American embassy, kid.
You don't want all that red tape and foreign bullshit.
What you want is a tracker.
You know what a tracker is.
A tracker's a-- someone finds lost things.
All right, you know somebody like that?
MAX: Let's go. Let's go.
All right, we're going.
We're going.
SOL: Let's move it.
[inaudible]
Hey.
Hey! - Move it.
Set it down right over there.
Move it.
What's in here, concrete?
Get over there.
Hey, keep moving, fuck.
Fuckin' ass.
MAX: Hurry it up.
Sol, there's three more in there.
Yeah, I know, man.
That's all we could get, man.
[screaming]
Oh my god!
Jerry!
Oh my god!
[screaming]
No!
[crying]
[gunshots]
[roaring]
[gunshots]
Geez.
[crying]
Well, bad motherfuckers.
All right, get in there, and check that shit out.
What?
Yeah.
You, Squid, man, check this out, man.
We-- we tore its ass up.
[inaudible], man.
Enough.
Sol.
Yo, here.
[screams]
A little trophy for you, baby.
All right, all right, enough.
Now here is where the real adventure begins.
Move it out.
Let's go. Let's go.
Pick it up.
Let's go.
You, get a case.
You, [inaudible] pick it up.
Take care of it.
[inaudible], wake up.
[groaning]
Wake up.
[groans] Who the fuck are you?
I'm Zach Fowler.
I'm sorry, I, uh, I just drank too much, all right?
ZACH: Yeah, I could tell.
Yeah.
Hey, wait.
Wait.
I remember you now.
You're the kid from the [inaudible]..
Yeah.
And you're supposed to be the best tracker around, huh?
What did you expect, Lancelot, hm?
Jesus.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hey, kid, you don't want to go to a plane crash.
Yes, I do.
Look, if there's a chance of her being alive,
then I want to find it. OK?
Yeah, well, you know what people look like when
you find them in a plane crash?
Do you want the job or not?
Things like this don't come--
they're expensive.
Money is not a problem, OK?
I got money.
You see?
Huh?
That's not enough to buy breakfast.
Yeah, well, her parents are loaded too.
OK?
Her dad started an internet company.
You know, internet.
Look, anyway, they're filthy rich, OK?
It doesn't matter.
She flies around the world off of her trust fund.
All right.
This is-- this my minimum offer--
$3,000.
You pay for everything, and I get to keep what I find.
Fine. You got it.
Listen, kid, I'll tell you one thing.
We've got to do this in a hurry, because if they went down
in the swamp where I think they went down,
not too many people make it out alive, OK?
OK.
MAX: Lights! JULIE: OK.
OK.
MAX: Give me the fucking light.
This water smells like ass.
That's methane.
It's the number one cause of wildfires in swampy areas.
If you light that up, it goes boom.
[smack] Ugh!
Leave him alone.
He's in shock!
That boy's brain is mush.
What?
Hey, he's right.
It works.
This ain't some male bonding camping trip.
Now, move.
Hey, we're carrying this stuff, aren't we?
Shh.
Sol? SOL: Yo?
You wanna take care of this.
Yup.
No, no, no, no.
No, don't.
Please-- please don't kill me. God, no.
[inaudible]
You're gonna carry the luggage,
and you're not gonna complain, right?
Yes. What?
Yes. Yes.
Carry it.
I'll carry it. I'll carry it.
No problem.
Give me a nail, kid.
MAX: Light, dammit.
Fuck.
I can smoke now, right?
Sure.
That's what I thought.
[bugs buzzing]
JULIE: The black box?
Where did you get it?
MIA: Jerry pulled it from the cockpit.
So this is a black box?
This is it?
Keep it down.
So this thing, it can track us?
MIA: Yeah.
They probably found the plane already.
And they're on their way.
No.
They wouldn't have been able to launch a full search
until this weather cleared.
And then when they find the plane,
they'll dredge the water around the crash site first.
And then, they'll expand the search.
It's going to take them some time to even figure out
we're missing.
Great.
Fuck me.
What?
Was there ever a better time?
Let me see this.
Mm, I'm gonna be needing those.
Hey, is that alcohol?
Give it to me.
JUSTIN: Wait, you, really shouldn't mix those.
You're not do what I think you're doing.
Yeah, I am.
What do you-- what do you think she's doing?
Well, you can't use them all.
I'm going to need at least five.
Well, there's not enough.
You can have two.
Three.
Oh.
Oh, no, no, no.
You can't do that.
They'll kill us.
They're not going to kill us anyway?
Oh, no, no, no.
I don't want any part of this.
You can count me out, OK?
Forget it.
It's better to die on your feet
than to live on your knees.
MAX: Shut up.
He's got a point, doesn't he?
Hmph.
I don't mind living on my knees. MAX: Sol, you--
Why doesn't that surprise me?
--you tie them up.
Mhm.
Squid, you'll stand first watch tonight.
Aw, man, I'm wasted, Max.
Give it--
MAX: Can it.
You really don't have-- look, we're not going to run away.
I mean, you're in complete control of the situation,
and I respect your authority.
[yells]
Would you like room service with that?
Ow.
You sleep OK, OK? Get some sleep.
[growling]
[roaring]
[CRICKETS CHIRPING, FIRE CRACKLING]
[bugs buzzing]
Are you sure you want to do this?
Yes.
It won't work.
Shh.
Be quiet.
Be careful.
[grunts]
Might as well go back to sleep.
We're not going to be moving for a while.
I can't sleep.
Can't I just come keep you company for a minute?
Hm.
Shh.
Reach in my front pocket.
Go ahead, my front pocket.
Go ahead.
Where'd you get that?
The plane.
Come on, untie me, and we'll have a nightcap.
Why the fuck not?
Cheers.
[clink]
So you think we're almost there?
Oh, god I hope so, because I can't stand this fucking place.
I hear you.
Reminds of when my parents used to take me camping.
Hated that too.
Down.
What's in those cases?
They so fucking heavy.
Wouldn't you like to know?
[laughs]
Here.
You don't want that?
Hm, too strong.
Oh, yeah?
Come on.
You can tell me.
Well, it's a long story.
You got a little time?
[laughs] A little time.
First thing you have to--
have to understand is that all vault
lockups work on computers.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
They're always trying to--
always trying to beef them up with high-speed
chips and infrared locks, new lines of code.
And I'm saying this with all honesty, I'm the best there is.
[whimpers] Wow.
And my name is Jack.
Jack?
Uh-huh.
[panting]
Just knock them down.
I mean, that's really all there is to it.
It's more technical than that, you know.
Yeah.
You do understand what I'm saying, yeah?
Of course.
Well, you say it with me now, then.
You just--
- Knock them-- - --up.
--up.
BOTH: --to set them down.
You're a smart girl.
Sleepy.
Mm.
[whimpering]
SQUID: Ah.
Uh.
[panting]
MIA: Come on.
Keep going.
Hurry up.
Come on.
[thunder]
Shit.
Get up.
I got them.
What the-- wake up, motherfucker.
Where are they?
- What?
[smack] - Ugh.
[thud]
Where the fuck is your gun?
I don't know.
Where the fuck is your gun?
I don't know!
I'll tell you something, motherfucker.
You better hope that I find them.
Ugh.
Sol!
You go get their ass.
Where are we-- where are we going?
MIA: Back to the plane.
[groaning]
[splash]
What was that?
They're right behind us.
Shit.
Come on!
[panting]
[growling]
Go! Go!
Let's go! Let's keep moving.
Come on!
[splashing]
Move.
All right.
I told you this was a bad idea.
Shut up and run!
I had nothing to do with this!
It's this way!
No, it's this way.
This is the way out.
Come on!
I know the way!
[panting]
Ah!
Go get him. [inaudible]
We've got you.
JULIE: I've got the flight recorder.
[screaming]
(SCREAMING) Help!
Help me!
Help!
Help me!
[screaming]
[gunshots]
Help me!
[gunshots]
No!
Julie!
Holy fuck.
Let's go. - No!
No! - Fuck.
Let's go.
[growling, chomping]
[roaring]
Let's go.
Come on.
He's right behind you.
Go!
He's right behind us.
Go!
Run!
God, what the hell is that?
[panting]
Come on!
It's gaining on us.
Go!
Come on.
[panting]
Move.
Go.
MIA: It's this way!
BRIAN: No, go left.
Go left!
(SCREAMS)
Motherfuckers! Motherfuckers!
[smack]
(SCREAMS)
SOL: Fuck.
Come here, you piece of shit.
Come here. Come here.
No! No!
MAX: Be quiet, all of you.
Something-- [thud]
- Shut your mouth! - [groans]
It's back there, man. It's coming this way.
Put your hands behind your motherfucking head now!
Shut up. JUSTIN: Please--
Shut up.
Where's the other bitch at?
It came out of the water in the air.
It was a crocodile! BRIAN: It was fucking huge, man.
It was bigger than the last one.
SQUID: Hey, let us kill these motherfuckers.
Listen. Just let us go.
We didn't take any of your-- MAX: Shut your mouth.
--fucking money. MIA: No!
No!
No, no, no!
No, no!
It was my idea. It was my idea!
Don't listen to her, Max.
She's a lying bitch.
No, that's not true.
I convinced them to do it.
Oh, shut up, bitch!
MAX: You better be motherfucking right.
Consider this a stay of execution, bitch.
- Ah! - Go on.
All right.
Go on.
I'll kill your fucking ass.
Come on.
Go!
Let's go.
Pick it up, double-time.
So this thing can pick up a black box
signal from way up here?
No problem.
Good tracking device is a pilot's best friend.
You know, back in '78, I had to use a tracking device.
I had to get myself a--
what was that tracking?
A one-- a single-engine FlySpotter.
Found out it was sunk 10 feet in the mud.
And that baby found it.
The salvage on that one was something special.
I must have cleared about $4,500 and didn't get a--
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Look, if I'm paying for this, we've
got to set some ground rules right now, OK?
I don't want to hear any more talk about salvage.
We're looking for people.
You got it?
Sorry.
How much farther we got, Max?
Acapulco's southwest of here, man.
We're head the wrong way.
I think we should listen to him.
I think he knows what he's talking about.
Yeah, I don't know if the kid knows what the fuck he's
talking about, but we should get to higher ground,
because this water--
Will you shut the fuck up for once?
Listen, I'm really trying to hold it together here, OK,
but there's a fucking-- MIA: Justin!
- --in the water. - Be quiet!
Now, my only concern, which should be your only concern,
is getting these objects from point A to point B.
Yeah, OK, Max, but we've been out here for a fucking--
There's just a fucking thing in the water--
I think if we just turned around,
we might be headed in the right direction.
--that's gonna eat us. Do you understand?
It wants to eat us. - Shut the fuck up!
Now, I'm tired of hearing about this motherfucking crocodile.
Take my shit to the end of the line, and I might let you live.
Else, there's gonna be a trail of dead bodies.
I'm telling you, man. I can get us out of here.
Why don't you lead us, boy wonder?
But I'm gonna tell you something--
you mislead us one time--
That's fine.
(SCREAMS)
MAX: Motherfucker!
We know.
We've been telling you there was a big croc after us.
You didn't listen.
We should go back, Max.
We should go back.
I agree with him. We should go back.
Don't go fucking taking my side.
Max, this isn't right.
You said it was gonna be an easy job.
You said we were going to fly to our rendezvous point,
not march through a fucking jungle [inaudible]..
We've got a lawyer.
We've got a fucking savant.
We've got a fucking slut. - Squid.
And I am not losing my life.
Motherfucker, you better pull it together now.
I have enough to worry about with these fucking
motherfuckers but not you. I cannot lose you.
You hear me, motherfucker?
Because I can guarantee you one thing.
You keep this shit up, you will not make it out of here.
I'll see to it myself.
[helicopter]
There it is, kid, El Pantano Diablo, the devil's swamp,
a swamp bigger than the Everglades.
The natives, they call it a sunken world where monsters
live that could tear out your soul,
send you straight to the underworld.
[beeping]
ZACH: What's that?
ROLAND: : Aha, there she is.
Just sit tight, kid.
We'll be there in a minute.
We're gonna do the rest of this search on the ground, kid.
ZACH: There's nothing here.
ROLAND: : Oh, I've got boats stashed here.
We'll go up river north by northwest,
take us right to the scene.
[grunts] Well, this is it, kid.
What is this place?
Where I've got a little bit of everything.
I don't think I want to know.
Come on, kid.
Home sweet home, boy.
Here, pull this thing out.
I'm sure you can assemble it.
[grunts] Come on, just pull it out.
All right.
SOL: No fucking way.
Ugh.
Man, this is not a good idea.
[chatter]
Get up.
Move!
[beeping]
This doesn't make any sense.
What?
What doesn't make any sense?
According to this, we should be standing right on top of it.
[sighs] Mia!
Mia!
Where the hell is it?
Oh my god.
Ah!
ROLAND: : Don't move.
Don't move a goddamn muscle.
[growling]
No.
Stay real still, kid.
Don't move.
[gunshot]
[roaring]
[gunshots, roaring]
Move!
[inaudible] turn to the left, and I'll meet you at the boat.
All right.
[panting]
ROLAND: [inaudible]
ZACH: Roland!
[roaring]
Roland!
[growling]
Flight recorder.
Ah!
What the hell?
Come on.
What the hell was that?
Just come on.
It ate the plane's flight recorder.
[inaudible]
It ate the what?
It ate the plane's flight recorder.
We haven't been tracking the plane.
We've been tracking it.
Where the fuck is it going?
It's going to close in on us.
You steer.
Come on!
Well, move!
[boat speeding]
[panting]
[boat engine]
Get them in the water.
No one say a word.
Go!
[boat idling]
[gasps]
[inaudible]
Oh my god.
Mia!
[grunts]
[splash]
MIA: No, Zach!
Don't move.
Don't you fucking move!
MIA: Don't, Zach!
Don't.
MAX: Where's the other one?
[splash]
All right, everybody stay still.
Boy, you better put that gun down.
Look, one step at a time, OK?
This doesn't have to end tragic, OK?
Shut the fuck up.
Look, I don't have a problem with you guys.
But you are trespassing in my swamp.
What the fuck do you want?
Her.
SOL: Boy, I'm gonna say it again.
Put that gun down before I get ready to skull fuck this boy.
SQUID: Kill him, Sol. - No!
SOL: Get back!
[gasping]
Anybody gets hurt, then you guys are never
going to get out of here alive.
(WHISPERING) I've got a jumper.
Yeah?
Where is it?
Two clicks east.
He's telling the truth.
If I find out you're lying, motherfucker.
Cut your bullshit, OK?
I'm your only ticket out of here, like it or not.
Squid!
[gasps]
[bubbling]
[roaring]
[screaming]
Everybody, make it!
Make it to the shack!
[yelling]
Come on, come on.
Come on!
[screaming]
[gunshots]
Fucker.
[roaring]
[gunshots]
[grunting]
Over here.
Here.
How do we get in?
[inaudible] door.
Come on, Mia.
[screaming]
[gunshots]
Let's go!
[gunshots]
[roaring]
Try the window!
[inaudible] Go!
Go!
[banging]
[gunshots]
[growling]
I got you.
Come here.
[whimpers]
Mia.
[whimpering]
Hey, come on!
What are you waiting for?
(CRYING) How did you find me?
How did you know?
[panting]
No, you don't.
Get back.
Go, [inaudible].
Go.
Freeze!
Help.
Help!
Help me!
Help!
Fuck!
Help!
Help me!
Help!
Help me!
Go help him.
Ah!
All right.
It's OK.
You're all right.
You're OK.
Fuck you, you hear me?
I've got shoes that scare me more than you, motherfucker!
[inaudible] Eat me!
[roars]
[screams]
[splash]
MIA: [screams] [whimpers]
Sol, get that stupid motherfucker.
Fuck off.
What'd you say? What'd you freakin' say?
What the fuck is your problem?
[sighs]
Step away from the freaking window.
Step!
ZACH: I've got you.
Get over there.
SOL: Let me-- let me check him.
Yeah.
SOL: What the fuck is that?
[crying]
It's OK.
MIA: [crying]
Take this fucking thing off.
[crying]
I'll bust you, motherfucker.
What's he got? SOL: He's fucking clean.
He's got nothing.
All right.
Move.
SOL: He's got fucking nothing.
He's got fucking nothing. I got nothing.
You've got nothing. - Told you, man.
I fucking told you.
You shut the fuck up!
Shut the fuck up!
[gun clicks]
Fucking things is all fucking bullshit.
That's all--
Are you gonna fucking leave kindergarten and come help me?
SOL: No.
Come on, man.
It's the fucking jaws of death out there, man.
El diablo.
What?
It's an old legend.
Years ago, the conquistadors, they hacked their way
across the swamp, and they were carting all the stolen gold
they got from the Aztecs.
But only one of them got out alive.
He spent his last years screaming about some dragon
creature that came out of nowhere, that walked on land
and walked on the water and tore them all to pieces.
He chomped their armor like it was just paper.
And when he was done, the swamp was consumed by fire.
Now, the Spaniards, they had never seen anything like this
before.
But the natives knew.
The natives knew what it was.
They knew it was the creature that
guarded the swamp against evil.
So the natives, to protect themselves, at night,
would chant the name, aligarto diablo, aligarto diablo.
Thank you for that bit of information.
It was incredibly helpful and relevant.
I'm sorry, but, why don't we just go outside, go bust
a cap in its ass like we did the last one?
Your guns aren't going to stop this one.
Be quiet. Be quiet.
OK, folks, this is what we're gonna do.
You and you are gonna go out there.
You're going to go get that boat.
You're gonna bring it back to me.
No!
Baby, it's OK.
MIA: No, please.
Please.
Listen, it's getting dark.
I mean, why don't I go?
I mean, I know the area.
That's actually a really good idea.
That way when you leave here, you can just
take off and not come back.
[scoffs] You must really think I'm an idiot.
No.
The only one that has an incentive to come back--
and a lovely incentive it is-- is this one.
Besides, only of you's gonna come back
anyway, as far as I see it.
The other one's just, um, a distraction.
You mean bait, right?
Mhm.
And don't try anything, because I'll
be watching you from the roof, and I'm a very, very good shot.
Crocodile Dundee, you're coming with me.
Sol?
Yo.
Take our little stewardess and go out there
and retrieve our valuable.
Why I got to go?
What, I'm going to go retrieve them?
And, and, and-- come here.
What?
Control yourself.
Man.
Hey.
I want her alive.
[panting]
[crickets chirping]
[panting]
SOL: It's all right. I've got you covered.
Let's go.
Here.
Can I come up now?
Go get the other one.
ROLAND: Those cases must be pretty
valuable if you're lugging them all through the swamp.
You know, there's no way you're goods and all of us
are going fit into my boat.
What's your point?
Just curious.
What's the range on that thing?
I don't, man, but I know it works.
What does it do?
Picks up the signal from the black box.
Keep your eyes open, all right?
For what, man, the croc or the boat?
Both.
[bird chirping, wings flapping]
Hey, you hear that, man?
What?
Did I hear what?
What? BRIAN: Nothing, man, nothing.
Nothing. It's nothing.
It's not.
ZACH: Don't fucking do that to me, man.
Just-- I thought--
I thought I heard something.
[grunting]
[thud]
(PANTING) OK, that's all of them. (PANTING)
You worried about your boyfriend?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Me too.
I'm sure he's all right.
And you're with me, so you're all right too.
I'm, um, I'm sorry about that smoking thing, you know?
Listen, uh, I just wanted to say that I'm--
SOL: Stop right there.
How do they do it?
Like that?
You look real nice there, Mia, like a model, like a artist.
Thank you.
Can't stop watching you, Mia.
Even when I close my eyes, I can see you just as clear.
What's he do for you?
Zach?
SOL: Mhm.
I love Zach.
I said, what's he do for you?
I love Zach.
See?
You ain't never been with a real man.
Make you feel like you went around the world and back.
Poof.
MIA: [panting]
Boo!
[whimpers]
[grunts]
[yells]
[thud]
[grunting] No!
Please!
No!
[whimpering] No.
No.
No!
[kissing]
[whimpering] [crying]
[panting]
[grunting] [whimpering]
Ugh!
MIA: [screams]
[groans] Ugh.
[groans] Ah!
[grunting] [gasping]
[banging]
SOL: [yells]
[growling]
[gasping]
[thud]
[rattling]
[gunshots]
No!
All right, man. Come on.
Put your arm around me.
It's me. Relax.
No! No!
- It's OK.
[thud]
Whoa.
Ugh.
[splash]
[grunts]
[panting] Here.
[groaning]
[screams]
[grunts]
MIA: I've got you.
Come on.
[engine running]
Hey!
Don't try it, motherfucker.
Don't you even think about it.
Don't move!
[groans]
MIA: Zach, help!
You better go, motherfucker.
Oh, fuck you.
I could blow you both away right the fuck now.
MIA: Help!
Come on.
MIA: Zach! - I've got you, man.
I've got you! [roars]
[splash]
MIA: I can't do it!
[groaning]
SOL: You got him, Max?
[inaudible]. SOL: You got him?
Yeah, I got his ass. He ain't gonna try shit.
[banging]
[grunting]
Get him up.
[grunting]
Pull my ass up.
[roars]
[banging]
[screaming]
[splash]
[screams]
Mia, towards the window.
[yelping]
Go.
Swim to the side!
He'll lose perspective on you.
[gunshot]
Find somewhere to hide.
Stay close to the column--
close to the column!
[gunshot]
[roars]
Throw it in his eyes.
We've got to distract him.
Aim at his eyes.
MIA: [panting]
[grunts]
ZACH: Get back.
Get back behind the pillar.
MIA: [whimpering] Zach, look out!
[gunshots]
Anything here.
Come on, pick up something heavy!
[grunting]
[growling]
[gunshot]
[roaring]
[engine running]
[gunshot]
[roaring]
Zach!
[gunshot]
MIA: [gasping]
[gasping]
[gunshot]
[thud]
[screams]
[growling]
[screaming]
Help! Help!
[gunshots]
Mia!
Stay back!
[screaming]
[roaring]
[screaming]
[roaring]
Ugh!
[splashing]
[roaring]
Get out!
The place is coming down!
[gasping]
Come on.
[growling]
[roaring]
[coughing]
[screams]
ROLAND: The place is gonna come down!
We don't want to be anywhere close when it falls.
[splashing]
[creaking]
They took the boat.
[splash]
Come on, we're gonna have to haul ass
before they reach the chopper. Come on.
I know a shortcut.
[panting]
Fucker.
Motherfucker.
Goddamn boat's deflating.
Motherfucker!
Fuck! - Calm down.
Fucker, I am calmed down, fucking ass.
Fucking piece of shit, motherfucking boat.
Gather my fucking shit.
You go get that motherfucking thing.
I I've fucking had it.
I don't get no more orders from you.
I'll go my own fucking way.
What the fuck is your problem?
What the fuck is my problem?
That's mine.
- That's fucking mine! - Calm the fuck down.
SOL: [inaudible] - Calm down.
I am calm, man.
Ain't no bosses out here.
There ain't no bosses out here.
Ain't no more fucking orders.
That's it.
Ain't no more orders.
We're survival of the fittest.
That's all this is.
We're in the fucking jungle.
We're animals.
You're a monkey, just like I am.
And it's survival of the fucking fittest.
Did you call me a fucking monkey?
Go on. Take your shit.
Get the fuck outta here. Take it.
[inaudible], motherfucker. Go on.
That's right.
Every man for himself. You a survivor?
You go survive.
You'll just leave me like this?
That's right.
Yo, Sol.
What?
Sol.
What?
I'm sorry.
Fine.
[gunshot]
[yells] Oh.
You fuck!
[moaning]
Give me this shit.
[moaning]
Good luck, motherfucker.
SOL: Max!
[gasping]
[roar]
[screaming]
Be out of here in two minutes.
[laughing] Look at this.
We made it.
We finally made it.
[giggling]
Oh, almost-- almost forgot.
What?
Pick a hand.
Go ahead.
MIA: [gasps] Oh my god.
I cannot believe you found this.
Eh?
Baby.
[giggles]
Hey, how about canning that, huh?
I mean, give an old cynic a break, you know what I mean?
That's sweet.
[gasping]
Now, break it up.
Back up, bitch.
No way.
Uh, we were going to wait for you.
Not today, motherfucker.
Back up.
Back up!
Now, you're gonna get in that little blue chopper,
and you're gonna fly me the fuck out of here.
You want my help to get you out of here?
50%.
You asshole!
What are you doing?
Shut the fuck up!
Done.
Move, buddy.
ROLAND: OK.
OK.
ZACH: Roland, what the fuck are you doing, man?
We had a goddamn deal.
Hey, I got what I came for.
You two got true love.
I still got to buy it.
Shut the fuck up.
Get the fuck in the cockpit.
Get back.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
ZACH: Roland, you can't do this shit to us.
MIA: No! No!
You can't just leave us!
Come on.
MIA: Please!
You can't!
ZACH: No, Mia.
Get back.
[engine starting]
No!
[helicopter]
- You can't leave us! - No.
We'll find a way.
Come on.
No!
Come on.
[whimpering]
ZACH: We're getting out of here.
We can't be too far from a town.
[boat engine]
[clicking]
Hey, you know, guns don't make it in planes and helicopters.
Shut the fuck up and fly the fucking plane, you stupid fuck.
Put that gun away.
There's no one here but me and you.
You can trust me.
Ah!
[grunting]
[gunshot]
[alarm blaring]
[groaning] Guns don't kill people.
People kill people.
[gunshot]
[whimpering] [yells]
[gunshot]
[screams]
[splash]
Ugh.
Oh.
Ah, taxi's coming back, kids.
I'm still on the clock.
[roaring]
[engine failing]
[crashing]
[gasping] [groaning] Oh.
[explosion]
Where is it?
Let's get the fuck out of here.
[engine revs]
Look out!
Shit.
Mia!
Help!
Grab my hand.
Come on.
Come on, baby.
[inaudible]
[panting]
Hold on tight.
[screams]
Shit!
Let's go over there.
It's methane.
Zach, stop.
Wait, stop the boat.
Stop the boat!
Mia, no.
I think we're gonna need that.
Just help me.
Come on.
Hurry up.
It's gaining on us.
Ugh.
ZACH: Come on.
Come on.
Ugh, damn it!
Mia, it's getting closer.
Let's go!
Come on!
Light up my life, motherfucker.
[engine revs]
[explosions]
[roars]
[explosions]
[fire roaring]
[beeping]
Aw, no fucking way.
It can't be.
Ah!
[splash]
[beeping]
[laughs]
Are you OK?
Are you sure?
Yeah, I think so.
All right, let's get out of here.
[grunting]
[engine sputtering]
Use enough gas back there?
Well, at least we finally have some time alone together.
That's true.
You said you wanted to be somewhere tropical, right?
So.
Have I told you that I loved you yet?
No, you haven't.
Well, I do.
Oh yeah?
It's pretty nice of the airline to put us up here.
Well, I think they just didn't want to get sued.
Yeah, well, I still might sue.
Oh, you might?
I might.
Hm.
So what do we do now?
I think it's a good time to live happily ever after.
I think that's a good idea.
Hm.
I think I want another kiss.
[splashing]
Come on.
Let's go.
[chatter, splashing]
OK, now stay right here and watch the master.
[giggles]
[splash]
Ah!
[giggles]
Ah.
Come on in.
It's beautiful.
I can do better than that.
Oh, really?
Let's see what you got.
[whistles]
[giggles]
ZACH: Come to papa.
[screams] [whimpers] [pants]
It's OK.
It's OK, baby.
It's all right.
It's just a bad dream.
It's OK.
[roaring]
[music playing]
(SINGING) Open your eyes.
Don't be scared.
Open your eyes [inaudible].
Some are gonna [inaudible].
Welcome to our blood, sweat, and tears.
Knee-deep in greed.
I'm gonna make you bleed.
Knee-deep in greed.
I want to see you bleed.
Get you down and dirty, begging for mercy, [inaudible]
emergency.
Ripping on the [inaudible] courtesy.
Drop it.
[inaudible] Mercifully, a common courtesy.
You'll curse and hate me.
I'll have you counting birds, you see.
Knee-deep in greed.
Gonna make you bleed.
Knee-deep in greed.
I wanna see you bleed.
Take a deep breath.
Breathe easily.
Because [inaudible] recently.
Be friendly, do you want to agree with me?
Evil, [inaudible] greed is what you see in me.
[inaudible] creeps.
Knee-deep in greed.
I'm gonna make you bleed.
Knee-deep in greed.
I want to see you bleed.
You like living on your knees?
[laughter] [inaudible] to be greed.
Evil is what you see in me.
[inaudible] tricks up my sleeve.
[inaudible] Giving you the creeps.
[inaudible]
[music playing]